An open letter to Hurricane Igor

Dear Mr. Igor,

Hi.  I am a surfer in the Cape Fear region of North Carolina and it has been Lake Atlantic recently in terms of wave action.  Could you please send some groundswell our way from your massive Category 4-ness?  While the southern part of the United States is known for its hospitality, we would really appreciate if you kept yourself at least 200 nautical miles away from my favorite Old North State.

Thank you.

Sincerely yours,
The General’s Wife

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