It’s the circle of life and you can’t illustrate it better than the model of a hospital. One out, another in.
When one does something to one’s self that could result in a slow painful death, yelling the F word is completely appropriate, even in a professional setting. At least that’s how I rationalize it. I accidently stuck myself with a dirty needle because I am an uber-klutz (my PMS is not moodiness, it’s clumsiness — and it’s really, really annoying). I was very lucky: the person’s blood was clean (after much testing) and they were in a demographic that didn’t fall into a high risk category for all the fun blood borne pathogens. Whew. Dodged that bullet. I was almost in tears afterwards and it wasn’t from jamming a blunt needle (i.e. not sharp) into my thumb: it was because I did something so stupid that could have ever-lasting consequences. I got lucky. Very lucky.
Several people close to me have experienced death quite a bit.
The neighbor kid who used to live behind us died via suicide. He was only 17 and battling depression. I remember when he was born and the last time I saw him he must have been a little kid. My sister was close with his sister and the family was beyond devastated. I just happened to call my sister the night she was driving back from the benefit event for him. It upset her more because she too struggled with depression, a failed suicide attempt (thank God), and she knew him. It was all so sad and tragic.
Another friend lost a family member due to old age and aplastic anemia. They knew the end was coming, but it still hurts like hell when you hear the news.
I was removed from all these people, they were far away and I never knew them. Then it hit home. My good friend Samantha lost her puppy this week, a 3 month old cute little thing. She was hit by a car while they were out walking. She jerked away on the leash and ran into traffic. There was blood everywhere and the puppy died in Samantha’s arms. She was beyond inconsolable. This puppy had been her world for the past month and their bond had grown so strong. It really upset me to see her in such a state; having not dealt with death a lot in my own life, I felt out of place trying to comfort her. What do you say? I wish I could have taken her pain for a little while, or at least help her shoulder it – and I couldn’t.
The next morning I was going to take her to Cracker Barrel (good comfort food) to get her out of the house and talk. She was crying too much to be in public, so I met her and her sister at her house and decided to make breakfast. I would have made my French-Canadian grandmother I never met (again, to death) proud with the last 2 crepes I made. (Nutella crepes go down easy and they’re light.) I had the stove too hot and used the wrong type of pan, so I burnt 4 of them. I mean really burnt them, like open-a-window-it’s-a-like-a-dream-sequence-in-here type burn. It made for some comic relief and the only casualties were 4 crepes, my finger from hitting the hot pan (1st degree burn), a dish towel, and my pride. Luckily, I did made enough for each of us to have 2 large ones. With strawberries. Nom. Towards the end, Samantha was beginning to be more like herself. She’s a strong woman and she will get through this, it will just take some time.
The other death was a murder victim here in the Port City — and I know one of the relatives. No one’s sure about what happened or why — typical shooting deaths here usually are drug deals gone bad — but to have that kind of pain – wow – I can’t even imagine. Lots of prayers for peace and healing are all around me.
As with all things, there’s a flip side.
One thing the Lord really put on my heart was to pray for those couples who are struggling to conceive. I was astounded last year when 2 of the couples found out they were pregnant! The power of prayer is real! It does work! In the past month, I learned 2 more couples on my list are now pregnant!!! The one couple was told they had a 2% chance of conceiving naturally, so they decided to adopt after years of trying. 3 months into the process the Lord blessed them with TWINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I almost started crying when I read it. I’m not suppose to know yet about the other couple, but I am so happy for them nonetheless!!
My prayer list is down to 2 couples left. So far, I’m 4 for 4. Well, it’s really the Lord who should get the glory! It’s all His work.
I wonder who will be next….?