Never in my wildest dreams have thought that I, a Christian/college educated/professional woman, would ever watch Jersey Shore, let alone watch it with a notebook and writing stuff down. Ah, the joys of watching trashy American TV with German subtitles! Because my job is so cerebral, I think this is a great way to unwind. Is it wholesome? Not in the least. But it lets my mind go. So far I’ve learned useful phrases such as:
“Ruf ein Taxi!” Call a cab!
“Vinny ist weg!” Vinny is gone!
“Wie findest du die brueste?” What do you think of the boobs?
“Poppen” – a vulgar term for sex. (My translation software didn’t even know it. I had to google it and find it on an urban dictionary.)
It’s slowly coming together, but it is nice to see how things translate. I keep hitting pause so I can use my software to further translate. Some other things I have noticed about Jersey Shore, now that I’m through half a season:
- For people who have a beach house, they are never at the beach. What is up with that? I’d be out there all the time. My camera crew would be sunburnt.
- Why on earth would you tan in a bed when you have a beach house? Or go to gym? Hello! Morning run on the beach?
- I know there are guys out there who pull girls from clubs, take them home, and then call them a cab before the sun rises. I just never expected to see it on TV every time they go out clubbing. Which is every night. Good grief, they must be tired.
- I wonder if MTV gives them STD checks/test every few weeks. Because they should.
- I never realized how common weave/extensions were. They’re so expensive!
- I know, especially from my younger days, it’s fun to get dressed up and go out clubbing. But every night at the same few spots? I’d get bored. Also, there’s no way I could drink that much. The enzyme doo-dad that breaks down alcohol is not plentiful in my body. I have a low tolerance and I aim to keep it that way. These guys are professionals.
- They work at a t-shirt shop on the boardwalk – this is the closest they come to the beach on film – and they either don’t show up, show up late, or go AWOL. I know it’s not a “real job” and they have contracts with MTV, but still……it just shows poor character in my opinion.
- The only thing they take seriously on the show is drinking.
- I could never hang out at the house. I would not have sex with any of them. I would not (and could not) drink with them every night. I have very little tolerance for drama in my face. I’d turn into den mom/buzz kill.
- They don’t do dishes and apparently MTV does not have a maid come in either, so their kitchen looks like a bomb went off in it — I’d be cleaning the entire time. I’d be excited for everyone to go to the club so I could sweep and vacuum. OMG, I’d be the old lady.
- One of the hilarious lost-in-translation bits is “The Jersey Turnpike Dance:” to do this you put your hands on the floor and shake your butt in the air. I only know this because I looked it up on the internet. Jersey Turnpike Dance does not translate. They call it “bück-dich-tanz:” literately the “bend-you-[over]-dance.” It’s stuff like that I’m trying to get a handle on — some things just don’t translate. At all.