Greetings from under the bed!

I am reporting to you live from under the guest bedroom bed.

The doorbell keeps ringing (incessantly at some points) and kids, with the average age being 12, keep yelling TRICK OR TREAT!  So the cats and I are camping out until all this craziness settles down once and for all!

My Halloween costume this year?  I’m a techie.  Dark skinny jeans with a tailored black t-shirt from my favorite store of all time, H&M.  I’m just a ClearCom and a flashlight short.

Not much has been going on, hence the blog silence.

Some things that have gone on….

  • I got some serious peace from the Lord concerning the “thorn in my side.”  By earthly standards, I have a snowball’s chance in hell of the tides turning in my favor, but I have relaxed in the Lord that He will somehow bring it all into fruition in His time and under His will.  How?  No idea.  My faith is being tested for sure.
  • I have recently rediscovered my all-time favorite bra type: the balconette.  Random?  Yes.  But that’s me.
  • My new boss started at work.  My co-workers and I had a lot of apprehension about her; she’s not only sweet, but fair-minded, fun, and smart.  And someone who can pull her own weight when it gets crazy.  It will be a positive change for us.
  • I’ve got to spend some awesome quality time with Miranda and Samantha.  We’ve gone to costume balls, fancy restaurants, Emergency Vets followed by dinner (puppy was okay!), and crazy conversations.  I love my girls!
  • Spent a weekend in Detroit visiting family for my sister’s wedding shower.  It was amazing and I felt I really clicked with that side of the family, so different from the years past.  I even explored some graveyards and found my great-grandmother.
  • Oh, I turned 32, somewhere in there.  I still feel like I’m 25 with 7 years experience.

I haven’t been to the beach in quite some time and I am missing the ocean.  Perhaps if there are good waves one of these days, I’ll don the wetsuit and head out to the breaks….

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The boob tube

I rarely watch TV.  Part of it has to do with my work schedule; the other part is the fact we cheaped out on cable and no longer have a DVR.  I watch SNL, One Tree Hill, Downton Abbey, and Mad Men: what I like to call quality television. Debatable, but it’s what trips my trigger.

Mad Men Season 5 is in full swing and I’m addicted.  There I am, drinking my Port and gasping during the scenes with The General snuggled up with me.  He’s not into it as much as I am, but will watch it with me, especially if there is wine and edamame involved.  Downton Abbey won’t premiere until September (sigh), One Tree Hill has wrapped, and SNL is either hit or miss.  I figured I had a good repertoire going and then The General had to go and get me sucked into another drama.

We have a subscription to Netflix, and The General got Game of Thrones.  Now, it’s an HBO produced show, so that should have clued me in on storylines, but it didn’t register.  If natural female breasts bother you, please do not watch this show.  You will be extremely offended.  It was an education for me:  as an American in the 21st century, I’ve grown so used to the silicone-enhanced assets, that I’ve completely never noticed natural breasts outside my own.  I don’t like porn and I’m 110% hetero, so I’m quite limited.  All the women shown in the show (which takes place during the middle ages in a fantasy realm, so there’s no real date on things and the framework of buildings doesn’t fit with any time period which bothered this realist more than the breasts) have seemingly normal, run of the mill breasts.  I was shocked.  I’m can fill a 36B on a good day.  All these women were about my size, some a little smaller, some a little bigger.  I’m not used to that!  “This is totally normal, ” said the General, who did an independent study on the subject during his undergrad years. “Society and the media have taught us that breasts are suppose to be huge and round and it just isn’t so.”

Hmph.  Could have fooled me.

Once you get passed the nipples, the storyline is amazing.  It’s interwoven into families and it becomes – you guessed it – a game of thrones.  I must admit I’m eagerly awaiting disk 3 to arrive in the mail.

I would also like to note that said nudity does play into the storyline.  I don’t believe in gratuitous nudity much as I don’t believe in anything gratuitous in storylines: people, places, things, lines, etc.  Some of the scenes take place in brothels, so naturally there would be half naked women running around.  But it’s all central to plot/character development.  I like it.  Well scripted, well casted, well acted, well directed — a classic for sure.

I also discovered, in my quest to learn conversational German, Sat.1, a German broadcast station.  2 shows I think will help immensely: Die Harald Schmidt Show, billed as the Conan O’Brien of late night German TV.  He’s funny, but I barely understand him.  The other show, which has me laughing off my chair is a sketch comedy called Knallerfrauen.  Short scenes with hilarious hijinks – you don’t have to understand the language to get the joke, although it does help.  Some I can understand, but most fly over my head like Herr Schmidt.  Hopefully in time, I will understand what they’re saying.  Until then, I will just laugh hysterically  at the physical comedy of it all.

And German newspapers have a “sexy bilder” (sexy picture) feature with…..you guessed it……women without shirts.  Most are natural.

Go figure.

Imma Be

Unlike my sister and my paternal aunts, I wasn’t blessed with breasts.  I got the Prussian side of the family: eggs sunny side up (BONUS: I got the legs!).  In high school, my best friend liked to point out that my shoulder blades stuck out further than my chest.

I am at peace with my small bust.  I’ve toyed with the thought of getting implants – not that that I would, but a healthy C cup would be beyond my wildest dreams.  I rock such an awesome A cup that I don’t wear bras most of the time.  Living in southern NC, it freakin’ hot down here for most of the year – why wear another layer of clothing?  Ugh.  I wear shapeless opaque  scrubs to work, no need for one there.   I only wear bras for running (sports bras that make me look like a pre-teen – I wear them as outer wear) or as an accessory to an outfit: when I need some “lift” or if I’m wearing a light colored shirt that would show off my areolas.  I found out this spring, much to my dismay, I can run 2 miles without a bra and not be in pain. It’s a little annoying, but manageable.  On the bright side, I will always be perky, unlike my little sister who’s a 34E. 100% natural.  Grrr.

Today, I found myself in Victoria’s secret with an unused giftcard.  “If you need any help or a bra fitting, just let me know,” said this beautiful size -2 salesgirl.  Bra fitting?!  I’d never had one before — I figured they’d be like, “What are we measuring here exactly?  We don’t sell AA cups.”  I had no idea what a bra fitting entailed.  I figured I’d stand half naked in front of this pint sized supermodel and she’d get the circumference of my boobs, measure the distance between my nipples, the width of my body, and put all these numbers into a huge equation and voila! Bra size.  I had nothing going on, so I decided to do it.  I have no shame.  Since I wasn’t wearing one today, she gave me one to try on for the fitting (apparently, this is quite a PG experience). I told her I was a 34A or 36A.  I was a little nervous – I didn’t want to say less than A!  It fit perfectly!  Wow, I’m a full A!  Not this “almost A” crap!  An A!  <insert huge smile here>  I can’t wait to tell The General!

“That fits you perfectly,” she said after she took some measurements, which was only a measuring tape under and around my chest while standing in a bra.  “You’re wearing a 36B.”

A 36 what?

“Imma be?” I said.
“Yes, you are,” she replied.

Holy mammary glands, Batman!

Shocked.  Utter shock.  I’ve been walking around braless and I’m a B cup!?  WOW!  In honor of this very special epiphany, I bought a bra (now I own 5!).  A push up bra!  I would so post a picture, but I don’t want to give myself away ;-).  I can’t wait to tell the General!

I don’t think I’ll be changing my braless habits anytime soon, though.  Bras just make them look bigger and it’s not like I need the support.  I’ve grown used to my flat chest hiding under shirts.  I wonder, too, if it’s just the fatty deposits coming as my body prepares for menopause is the reason for the size change (I hit the big change, if all goes according to family history, in my late 30’s.  I’ll be done with this period crap before my 43rd bday!!!!)  Who knows?  It made my day!!

So now the only “A” I have is running through my veins, attached to my red blood cells.  And I can thank my dad for that one.