This Christmas morning is going to be an anomaly for me….one I told myself I would never repeat.
I will be alone.
The beautiful thing about working in the healthcare industry is that there are no holidays. Sure, you get days off, but weekends, holidays, points of time most people hold sacred – they have no meaning to us. We have lives to save and people to treat. My current employer is not open on Christmas this year. My husband, however, has a gig. In fact, this is a normal week for him. I kept toying with the idea to pick up hours at my former employer – they would be open Christmas Day – but I never picked up the phone to inquire. So much has changed there, I’d have to relearn my job. Despite the stress of that place, I feel terrible that I’m not taking someone’s spot, who could spend that time with family and friends – I remember working double shifts to help coworkers. My family is thousands of miles away, as is The General’s.
This happened once before, when I was still in Illinois. I kinda sorta freaked out about it. Granted, I can do anything by myself – fly half way across the world, go out to dinner, attend a show/party/gathering. But for some reason, Christmas is always hard. To offset the lonely Christmas I had (single and working), I went all out and bought a tree with ornaments and transformed my apartment into a Christmas wonderland. I found it quite therapeutic. Christmas Eve, my college roommate showed up with her husband, gifts, and a hot ‘n ready pizza. It was one of the best Christmas memories I have. They drove a half hour out of their way to make sure I had a merry Christmas. That will always stay with me.
This year, however, all is not lost. The General and I are getting together with Pat and Chris (old family friends) for dinner, gifts, and games on Christmas Evening. It’s just that the morning is going to be rough for me. Different, perhaps is a better word. I really have no desire to sit alone in this big empty house with Bing Crosby and Danny Kaye. I have decided to go to the beach, and if I get up early enough, I can watch the sunrise over the ocean. I’ve found there’s very few things in this world that a walk on the beach doesn’t make better/put in perspective.
It’s time to make some new Christmas traditions.